Improvement

Hello again friends, from the not-so-exotic, not-so-far-away locale of my room. Where I've been for five weeks. To be exact, from my large, white square of a bed, where I've also been for five weeks. The last time I left the house was in an ambulance, twice! I missed the entire month of May! When I tottered out onto the front porch yesterday I noticed that all of the iris were entirely gone, and the hydrangea was almost fully-leafed out! I felt like Rip Van Winkle, standing there gazing at a world that seemed to spring up overnight.

I'm able to write so off-handedly about this because - guess what - I'm feeling better. TOOT! TOOT! TOOTLE OOOT!!! 🎺🎺🎺🎺🎺(Five golden trumpets accompany that phrase whenever I utter it - like in the film "Young Frankenstein" whenever anyone says the name of Chloris Leachman's character "Frau Blucher" and the horse whinnies. Except it's nice.)

It's amazing how the humor and joy comes bubbling out when I'm feeling better. I'm not doing any cartwheels - good god - I'm not going out for a walk, I'm not even cleaning my room - and it needs it - I'm just laying here, feeling comfortable. Do you know what that feels like? LIKE HEAVEN.

Just being comfortable is such a gift. For so long I was in excruciating, imobilizing pain which also comes with so much fear and sorrow - then even when the worst of it improved somewhat I was still always uncomfortable - there was this awful, burning nerve pain up and down my legs, hips and all over my feet - making it hard to stand, to walk, and even to lay down. I would have to take pain pills just to get rid of that persistent nerve pain so I could sleep.

The pain pills are a source of anxiety in themselves. The addiction factor is serious. I take as little as I can - but when you need them, you need them, and you can only hope to avoid addiction and dependency.

It's a little early to tell if this new-found comfort and stability will stick, but I am optimistic. And I think I have my mom to thank. I think my turning point had to do with a little thing she told me. Mom has a similar problem with her back, we think it's hereditary. We both have a Hyper-Mobile Sacro Iliac Joint, and because it moves around so much, it pinches nerves, which is why I have this nerve pain - it's constantly being irritated and inflamed.

Mom has found one thing that works for her is to stand against a wall with her back pressed lightly against it, so it aligns the spine. Then to strengthen, you slide down, bending your knees, keeping your spine pressed against the wall, and hold it for some seconds, building the time as you get stronger.

I only did that for a day - hardly bending at all, just standing lightly against the wall - and I FELT BETTER ALMOST INSTANTLY. I couldn't believe it! That quickly?! But one thing I have learned about my body is I'm extremely sensitive - to everything. Things affect me immediately and in a huge way, which is a blessing and a curse. But this is definitely a blessing. I think it just takes the pressure off a nerve somewhere in the curve of my back, and allows it to relax. And hopefully to HEAL!!!!!!

For the first time in I don't know how long - I went to bed last night with hardly any nerve pain in my legs and feet. Fell asleep instantly and slept well. Of course I only slept until 2am - standing against the wall doesn't cure menopausal insomnia unfortunately, but I'm making the most of it by writing.

By the way, another cause to celebrate, I did some writing I'm really proud of yesterday. I'm sure it was because I was feeling so fine. I wrote two children's poems for a new book I'm working on. It's going to be a collection of illustrated children's poems, inspired by the classics by A. A. Milne "When We Were Very Young" and "Now We Are Six" - two of my all-time favorite and most influential books as a child. As soon as I finish the sketches I will give you all a sneak peek!!!  

Meanwhile, happy Wednesday in this fine month of June, much love and a beautiful day to you all! xoxoxo

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